Why Bishop's Weed is Evil
The plant catalogs describe Bishop's weed as "very vigorous". Sounds like a plant ideal for those tough spots. But let's translate "very vigorous" from market-speak into plain english. Translation: the plant wants to take over the world. Here's another one. "An amazing ground cover that thrives in sun or shade." Translation: You can't kill it.
It's truly amazing how vigorous this plant is. Heck! It even inspires me to to a vigorous and colorful use of language I didn't know I had in me. Since children might read this web page, let me restrain my vigor and positively channel the color to the written page and simply say Bishop's Weed is VERY AGGRESSIVE!
This VERY AGGRESSIVE plant sends out underground runners that are tougher than electrical cords. That's not enough to make it evil, though. Here's what makes it evil---it will send out runner after runner filling a planting bed and murder off any perennial in it's path. If it encounters a barrier, such as a stone wall, it will send the runners down and under the stone, down under the grass and will start to proliferate unchecked in the lawn. It has now escaped and is free to do what it truly desires--take over the world!
Pulling the visible leaves is NOT a sufficient weeding technique. You have to go on a hunt and destroy mission to find every piece and part of the runners. Any little piece left behind will grow into a plant! It took me 2.5 days of hard weeding, sifting through soil up to my elbows to remove all visible signs from my planting bed. I had to tear furrows in the grass to remove it from the lawn. And now, everyday, I anxiously scan the bed looking for any signs of resurgence...and resurge it does. It is persistent. It is aggressive. It is impossible to kill. And you've got it...it wants to take over the world!
You have been warned.
EVIL SCALE RATING
Since Bishop's Weed isn't poisonous (as far as I know) and nobody died, it doesn't warrant the highest evil rating. However, its score of 4 out 5 on the evil scale relects how much work it has cost me, how much work it will continue to cost me, and the hurt to my pocket book to replace my murdered perennials. Also, I'm afraid of it and am having nightmares about weeding. And gardeners aren't supposed to be afraid of weeds until the end of July!
Sheralyn Carroll, Carver MN, USA